I feel like my whole life is just a struggle to commit to anything, ever. I'm so obsessive about worrying that I'm making the wrong choices, that I end up too paralyzed with fear to make any choices at all; instead I waste all of my time trying to distract myself from my unhappiness.
also i spend way too much of my time drowning in Sehnsucht. Which by the way is now my favorite word ever because holy shit there's a word for the prevailing emotion in my life and I never knew until like three days ago.
Also mono no aware, Weltschmerz, acedia, ennui, mal du siecle, ubi sunt... it's kind of comforting how many societies have felt these things